04/05/2012 :29 am

Seeing everything from the perspective of infinity makes you truly realize the comedy in our actions. Everything about us is some vague notion, and yet there are endless concrete marks of time that form us as a being. Why do we do the things we do? The most basic questions, which to answer is a exhausting task. Why do I do what I do? Have not a care in the world for anything, but still I aim to do and achieve things. I know there is no requirement or reason behind my choices, and I loathe many each step of the way. Yet, I maintain the path. It’s society that that has engulfed my being and constructed a meta-being that lies caged within a shell of exterior interaction. I have a yearning to be just plain and pure being. This is the only thing I maintain to see, a curiosity that sole churns the wheel of life. Sitting over here wondering how it would end.  Why such curiosity? Is it even curiosity or some vague hope if whether that may be someday I may truly and soly be on my own and know what it stands to feel.  What would it feel to be? I have people to care for, people whose company I don’t enjoy the most. I care for them deeply enough to lay my life and never achieve true being. Why does the mind fall in these creations of community sold values? The habit of caring has become permanent, something to scar me for life. I care knowing that I not enjoy a single moment. There are moments when everything aligns for a moment, but they are few and vague to recreate. I have a hunger for environments and actions whenever an old habit ends. I can’t stand the idle stance, and may be causing me to not question my reason behind being. I do so much, and that’s all I know.  I even doubt the origin of my thoughts, are they truly mine? Or harvested from a bowl of gimmicky intellectuality. Are anyone’s thought ever true? Everything appears to be the same, like nothing was ever thought of and everything began with the question and not time.  We humans encircling ourselves around and diluting ourselves into observing a being. That would be a something to know.

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